Week 9: Unit 9 Progress (Greg)

Summary of work

The work completed this week was based around the editing of the spoken word. I edited the spoken word based around feedback in terms of words that were difficult to read or broke the flow for the reader. This involved a few word choice changes and the changing of a few abbreviations such as I’m to I am. I edited together the parts of the two piece that I felt were delivered the best. Through this I could keep the appropriate tone where I wished it to be. The second read through was based around direction given to my contact. I also completed two write ups of my article. One based around emulating the Independent’s writing style and the second based around keeping my intended audience in mind. This came from feedback from my tutor that while it read well it was not necessarily the most interesting read for the targeted age range to read in an exhibition. Therefore the second write up is to be used as a comparison to the first and the two will be displayed together to highlight tradition writing style for journalism when compared with other forms of written representation.

First read through of collaborator without direction

Feedback from collaborator

“Hey Scott,

Here’s the first recording of it.
Get back to me with changes, etc, whenever you like.

One thing I’ll point out is the naughts and crosses line is good but it feels and sounds weird to say/hear crosses rhymed with itself so maybe look into that?Hope you like it,

– Matt”

I then e-mailed Matt this in reply

Hi Matt, 

This was really good, you really captured what I was going for in your performance of this. I agree on the naughts an crosses line it’s something I’ve been meaning to look at.

I’ll make a few tweaks this week at college and send you the changed version. There are a few things I’d like to try with the next recording but I’ll let you know those once I’ve redrafted the piece. I could also put some notes on the document itself if that would be of use also. 

Thanks again really appreciate this.

-Scott

To which he responded with:

“Hey Scott,

It’s my pleasure. I’m glad you liked the initial recording. The notes on the document itself might be pretty useful. Whatever you need to do to make sure the recording is how you like it then go for it.
I left the audio un-edited (other than removing repetitions, etc.) so you can choose to remove breaths, add or remove bass, etc.Thanks,

– Matt”

Redraft of Spoken word piece with additional direction

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