Summary of work
The work completed this week was based around the editing of the spoken word. I edited the spoken word based around feedback in terms of words that were difficult to read or broke the flow for the reader. This involved a few word choice changes and the changing of a few abbreviations such as I’m to I am. I edited together the parts of the two piece that I felt were delivered the best. Through this I could keep the appropriate tone where I wished it to be. The second read through was based around direction given to my contact. I also completed two write ups of my article. One based around emulating the Independent’s writing style and the second based around keeping my intended audience in mind. This came from feedback from my tutor that while it read well it was not necessarily the most interesting read for the targeted age range to read in an exhibition. Therefore the second write up is to be used as a comparison to the first and the two will be displayed together to highlight tradition writing style for journalism when compared with other forms of written representation.
First read through of collaborator without direction
Feedback from collaborator
Get back to me with changes, etc, whenever you like.
One thing I’ll point out is the naughts and crosses line is good but it feels and sounds weird to say/hear crosses rhymed with itself so maybe look into that?Hope you like it,
I left the audio un-edited (other than removing repetitions, etc.) so you can choose to remove breaths, add or remove bass, etc.Thanks,
Redraft of Spoken word piece with additional direction