While I do think the article is effective in terms of visual stimulation for the reader I have a few ideas on how the article could be improved visually. I feel the image on the first page would fit better with the article if either the background colour extended to the rest of the spread or the image was a .png file and the image was just a picture of Jeremy Gilley with no background possibly crossing over to the second page with the text going around the image. Also I believe some people will find the bright image slightly over bearing but believe the pose done in said picture helps to drive home the overall positive theme the article tries to get across.
I also think the text could be columned in a more organised fashion to make the text better spread out and easier for the reader to read, however I am overall pleased with the written layout as the drop cap really captivates the reader and gives the article a definitive start point and draws attention to the opening quote.
In terms of the headline I would probably take more inspiration in terms of layout from the source image double page spread I based the article off of (seen below). This would of drawn more attention to the headline which is relatively small in comparison to the rest of the spread overall.
While I do like the watermarked styled image of the peace one day logo I would of liked it more if the words “peace one day” had been able to be edited to fit in the small blank spaced square below the article in order to make better use of negative space.
I do like the images used as they both are quite bright colours which draw attention without being off putting. The two images also drawn from similar colours of blues and greens which are relative calm colours and suit the over all theme of the article. I also think the use of the peace one day logo helps draw attention through the use of it including the headline in the image helping to draw more attention and causing the reader to look at the article and ingrain the phrase making it more memorable.
Some feedback I have received has been to increase the size of the margins to make the layout more visually pleasing, upon taking this into consideration I am inclined to agree as it would be good use of negative space and allow the article to look overall more professional and make the spread look less busy.
While there are a lot of things I was not able to change due to time constraints I am pleased with the overall product and feel it achieves its goal of being a visually stimulating layout and is similar to the source image I based it off of.
(Source image my layout was based on)
From a written standpoint I believe I have captured well what I was trying to achieve with the piece. I initially wanted to write a feature piece in a more prose style but due to word limit decided it was more suited to a more factual based piece of media.
After proof reading and receiving feedback it was suggested to me to try to ‘trim the fat’ in order to make the piece more fluid over all. A lot of the article was still written in a prose style which did not suit the article’s over all goal, once I removed certain phrases and reworded parts the article felt much more like a factual yet still interesting article which gets the information across in a summarised fashion. However due to the word limit I feel like I had to leave a lot of the struggles Jeremy Gilley went through in order to achieve his goal taking him over 3 years. I wanted to get this across but feel like I didn’t manage this, instead however, I did manage to get across the issues with the system in bringing something forward to the UN and the issues had with making his dream a reality.
After my alterations I feel like the article was much more fluid to read and allowed the reader to get a good understanding of the facts. At one point I removed all bracketed information and included it in a more suitable way in terms of sentence structure allowed for a less segmented reading experience.